I've been having a most enjoyable time lately, so enjoyable in fact that it nearly makes me forget that I am in Australia, described by the Oxford's Dictonary as "Quite shit".

First and foremost I have a job! Yes I am now a member of the prolertariat and as such am entitled to complain heartily about reasonable work hours, grumble constantly about good work conditions and launch the odd Communist revolution and dispose the Tsar. It is with great pride that I take up the self-appointed title of Shelf-Jockey and perform the most valuable service a man can provide: putting things on top of other things! (tears of pride) The most important thing about this situation is that I am ridicolousy over-paid considering a trained monkey could do this job, which is great caus I'll be afford to afford my gaming and Warhammer habbits now

Secondly I bought DragonAge Origins quite recently and I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough. It spins me right round baby, right round, like a record baby with its greatness. Its all about the end of the world as we know and we don't feel fine so in the house of fun, our house in the middle of our street where demons can't touch this-sword that puff the magic dragon who lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called honah lee-

(Repeated gunshots)

Seiously though it is a truely epic game that allows me to brutally decapitate foes, murder possessed children and jojn Dragon cults (all my darkest fantasies rolled into one )I implore you all to buy as soon as possible!

The same goes for the genius behind the third reason: Killing Floor and its Oscar worthy voice acting. Those who hae played it will know how freaking awesome it is but for the others you have to buy it now on steam for about £15!

Fourthly I've been shooting! Yay! I went down to the local gun range and choose a gun and let off some steam, which I've very badly needed to do ever since coming to this hellhole (hmmm letting a depressed individual use a fire-arm? ). A Ruger 44/77 was my choice because I love bolt action rifles and wanted something with a little more kick then those puny .22 bullets. Plus they were fresh out of Karabiner 98s which I think reflects poorly on them but what are you going to do? The rifle was chained down which was slightly annoying, the reason for this was that some insensitive selfish woman with no thought for any others came down to the range and blew her brains out with a pistol. God don't some people just make you sick?

Anyway I fired off 30 .44 rounds at a target about 18m away and achieved very good accuracy which was a very pleasent surprise because I was dreafully afraid of being a cack handed fool In fact I consitently hit the same area with a group of 5 rounds less then a inch away from each other: in other words excellent marksmanship! Go me! All in all a really satisfying day and at the modest price of $100 I am definitely going back .

Oath taken by all men of the Grand Army of Germania

I offer my life to the Emperor.
I pray that He accepts it.
I offer my strength to the Emperor.
I pray that He redresses it.
I offer my blood for the Emperor.
I pray that it quenches His thirst.
I offer my body on the altar of the battlefield.
I pray that He grants me a noble death.
I pray for His protection,
As I offer all that I am.



(Heh randomly breaking out into old songs in every sentence: I've become my father!)